I just jumped off a cliff. And I'm learning to fly on the way down.
A couple days ago I was weighing a big decision in my life. It was the decision to go work another 40+ hours a week full-time job or to make the leap into becoming a full-fledge entrepreneur and freelance writer.
I chose the latter.
Now, don't get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against working a full-time job. I was highly considering accepting a position as a copywriter for a really cool company. It payed decent, the culture was awesome, the work would have been easy for me, and the environmental stress would have been relatively low.
On almost every front, it seemed liked the perfect opportunity. And I fully believe I could have made it work well for me, and it would have served as an excellent stepping stone to greater dreams.
But I didn't choose it.
Why? There was one crucial piece missing: my heart just wasn't into the work.
I couldn't get excited about writing essentially the same pieces of content, over and over, and not building towards something greater. The writing I would have done there would have been a waste of my true gifts. It would have been easy work, but it wouldn't have been challenging or meaningful. I just knew that my head wouldn't pop off the pillow in the morning.
So what am I doing instead?
I'm working on my own terms. I'm starting by working with an entrepreneur who I absolutely respect, admire, and love being around. He has a few projects he needed help with, and after working with him for just two days, I was sold. I can't count the amount of times I laughed and smiled while working together, and I left both days feeling way better than when I arrived. He's extremely intelligent, kind, and has already created successful companies. He'll serve as the perfect mentor for me.
Not only that, but his main company is one that I wholeheartedly believe in and would love to opportunity to help him build to the scale he envisions for it. I'm smiling ear-to-ear just thinking about that company. It effing rocks.
The catch? I won't get paid until I can prove that my writing is bringing in more sales. I fully trust he'll be fair with me (I've actually been friends with him for over a year), but there's no guarantee on how quickly that will happen. And other than that, I've currently got just one gig paying me a very small amount for my writing, so I'll need to find and secure any additional freelance writing gigs to bring in money, which I'm not too familiar with yet.
So why does this decision matter? Why is it such a big deal to me?
I'm going to be honest with you. I'm not in the best place financially. I've been racking up a good amount of debt this past year, taking loans from my parents. I even started running a balance on my credit card for the first time in my life when I decided to stop taking loans from them, as a way to light a fire under my ass and make this problem more real to me.
Taking that full-time job would have plugged the hole of debt I've been creating. It would have allowed me to feel safe and comfortable taking small steps forward, and I'd still have had time to take on a freelance project or two on the side to start building toward my ultimate vision. And if the timing of the opportunity had fell just a couple weeks ago, I probably would have taken it.
But the thing is, I'm no longer the same person I was just over a week ago. Ever since Max's passing, I've been reevaluating how I live my life. I've gotten really honest with myself on how I've been playing small and dimming my light. I realized I've been holding back and making excuses for why I'm not living lifestyle and making the impact I truly desire.
I've become very present with the fact that I honestly have no idea how much time I have left to live my biggest dreams. And on top of that I realized that the only thing that's been holding me back from doing so has been, well....me.
I'm not willing to put off my dreams any longer. Not one more day.
I'm an entrepreneur at heart. I love the freedom to choose when and how I work. I love the idea that I can contribute to the world in a meaningful way through the creation of a business, and I believe I have just as much potential as say Steve Jobs or Elon Musk. And I love that my income potential increases infinite-fold when I take full responsibility over my career path.
Doing anything else feels like betraying my heart.
With that said, I'm now fully committed to creating financial stability for myself over the next few of months before my credit cards hit their limits. It's do or die.
Let's friggin do this.