I hit the snooze button quite a few times this morning.
This is the first day in a long time where i have a packed schedule. I'm jumping on the phone with eight different people, most related to business. I've got a two hour business lunch meeting with my brothers which will serve as our first major meeting for the wood-fired pizza business we're starting. And I'm going to a group run and social tonight.
I feel like I want to just go back to my bed and hide.
What if I make a mistake?
What if I let someone down, especially given the many past experiences I've had where I've let people down?
What if I come off wrong, say the wrong thing, or worse, not have anything to say at all? Could I handle that embarrassment?
I'm afraid that I'll go weak at the knees and start crying a puddle of tears in front of someone I love and admire and respect. I'm afraid I'll be seen as weak, incompetent, or strange.
I'm afraid to be seen. And I'm afraid I'll lose the love of others.
But most of all, I'm afraid that I'll go to bed tonight not having shown up to lovingly serve to the absolute best of my ability no matter the outcome.
And that is why I will succeed today.
I am strong not because I have no weakness, but because I acknowledge my weaknesses and choose to take action to strengthen them. I am strong because when I feel my body collapsing, I choose to open my heart wider and express a deeper truth inside of me. I am strong because I know that no matter if I am rejected or humiliated, I can simply view it as an opportunity to love myself even more fully.
I recently heard a friend say that fear is simply excitement without breathe.
So today, I will put my awareness on what makes me nervous and breathe into it.
Today, I will be strong and victorious.