Sunday, September 27, 2015


Consistency is hard for me right now. When it comes to most things. Writing is a perfect example.

I can't seem to go more than a week writing every day. Running similarly. Rapping. Eating healthy. Sleeping right. Working on work. Most of these honestly don't go past a couple of days usually.

Writing feels painful and uninspiring. It's just heavy and hard. I guess it feels a little better being in paragraph 3, but for whatever reason I have a hard time sticking to things when they don't feel that fulfilling or important or real. I don't get much out of them right away. But it seems like they're mostly high level...perhaps waiting for something. Or someone. Or some time.

When will it ever be time? Hard to see when a building or sculpture is going to be finished if you're in it the whole time.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

The starting line

Writing comes in stages, as does clarity. Gotta keep pumping it out while not judging each stage of the process. It's almost like I know what I should be able to write often before I can actually write that. It makes sense in my mind or is stored in my body & consciousness, but I can't quite articulate it through words yet.

Trust the process. Trust evolution.

We've always been evolving. Life is motion, evolution, emotion. Seeing the future while becoming it. Noticing that the past creates a foundation for the next stage. Trying to build on thin air by "staying present" pisses me off. It just doesn't work. The "now" is not all that exists - at least how most spiritual people fragmentedly assume it works.

The now is useful. So is the past. So is the future.

People are obsessed with saying "this is it." Where does this obsession come from? From what lack or pain or uneasiness does it originate?

Spirituality isn't the end. It's just the beginning. Welcome to the starting line.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

It's time

It's time to begin, isn't it
I get a little bit bigger but then, I'll admit
I'm just the same as I was
Now don't you understand
That I'm never changing who I am

-Imagine Dragons

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Choice and influence

There's a fine line between deeply loving encouragement and manipulation.

I find myself more and more seeing how others could make choices that would likely positively impact their life, and I do my best to encourage them to look closely at those choices and see for themself if it's the right decision for them.

Then pair that with the truth that ultimately every person has free will and can make their own choices, and you find yourself in a place of being able to lead a horse to water but not make it drink.

Even further to add to the interestingness of the situation is when you discover through experience that the more you are able to hone in on the benefits and specifics of those likely positive choices, you see a higher rate of that person choosing the option you've given them good reason to consider.

So really I've had to come to the conclusion that I am always influencing others choices and life experiences, and the real thing of importance is the intention I put into my enlightening conversations and still stepping back at the end to allow for that person to choose of their own accord.

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Trust in the nap

Sometimes the best thing you can do is forget about it all and take a nap, free from any obligation or urge.

Trust that when you arise you will have a fresh, clean, inspired mental space that will naturally gravitate towards those actions that will be of most benefit to your life and those around you.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Body pain

Today I'm noticing my body is in a lot of subtle pain. And not so much because I did something specifically to cause it pain.

No, rather this pain is simply the next later down of what was already under there. It's actually here and being experienced by me because I've been doing things right. I've been peeling back layers, and when I do that, new layers of pain come to surface in my awareness that previously were just background noise limiting the potential of how my body could move or perform. Only now, I'm aware of those limitations and can work through them.

It can be extremely challenging and disheartening sometimes to go through this process because just as I'm feeling good by the end of the night from the great work I've done that day, when I wake up the next morning after processing that work, there's more work to be done and it almost feels like starting over again, since the long-term progress is small and subtle. But when I look back to where I've been and what I'm now capable of, I see the real transformation that has occurred and feel proud of my progression.

I do believe getting on a more regular schedule of sleep and exercise will help to minute the seemingly negative effects of this process. That is my next goal in terms of positive lifestyle and habit changes.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Choose your own growth

Growth takes time, yes. But what I'm realizing lately is that it's not a specified amount of time per say, but rather, how quickly I can figure out what lessons are being taught, how present I can be to the present moment happenings of my everyday life that contain the wisdom and gifts needed to move beyond certain struggles.

It's s choose-your-own-pace universe, and the universe will give you what you ask for. I'm learning to ask for optimal pace rather than the fastest pace, which paradoxically ends up being the quickest path since I can keep my momentum going due to all aspects of my life being taken into account.

This way of living takes much greater awareness and effort up front to build a strong foundation in each major area of life, but ultimately provides the greatest freedom, stability, enjoyment, and speed once the basics have been mostly mastered.